My Brother Norm

 

When I served in the Air Force, I bonded with many others. To this day, I consider many of them my brothers and sisters. It doesn't matter if we haven't spoken for months. If they were to ever reach out, I'd be there for them. However, I did not learn this in the service. I have known this man for 35+ years, and he joined our crazy family in 1988. Norm Carlson is my sister's husband, and he is my brother. And today, I am at a loss for words: for my sister Joann; for my niece Taylor and for my nephew Lucas. I am at a loss because Norm passed away on March 15th, 2021. Based on my sadness, I cannot imagine what loss they are feeling and I have no magic words to alleviate their pain. But I can write about Norm, the bond I felt with him and some fond memories we shared throughout the years.

These thoughts and stories may come across as disjointed because there are so many of them running through my mind. Like Norm's sense of fashion in the 80s and beyond. He was ALWAYS a sharp dresser, and honestly I learned one important fashion sense from him. Men can really stand-out in two areas of fashion: Shoes and accessories. I had the shoe-game down. I love shoes, but accessories? Yes. At one time, I believe Norm had 14-15 pairs of glasses, of different colors! They stood out, and matched his outfits. In fact, right before I joined the AF, I bought a pair of glasses with red frames. I don't think I would do this, if Norm didn't have them first. And to this day, my shoes and sock game is solid, and I gravitate towards colored frames! 

Another story that always elicits laughter is the time I was at Mohawk Mall with Norm and Joann. I was a Freshman and it was about 1985. Now Norm already had his ear pierced, and I wanted to get one as well. I did have to call my mom and she was cool with it. But that isn't the funny part of the story. After I got my ear pierced, we were walking in Bradlees. We were looking for supplies for his Business, The Tile Man and in particular, he was looking for caulk. Well, we decided to have fun with the pronunciation of the word and shout across the aisles: "Hey, did you find the Cahhhk yet?" "Nope, I haven't seen the cahhhk yet." It was sophomoric but who cares? I was 14 and it was hilarious! Throughout the years, I would see some crappy graffiti shaped like a d*ck, snap a picture, send it to Norm and tell him I found it! In any event, be forewarned, that if I'm ever visiting my family in NY and in Home Depot or Lowes with them, you may hear a shout in the aisle: Have you seen the cahhhk, yet?

As I mentioned above, Norm and my sister (and now Lucas) have their own business: The Tile Man. I always tell everyone, I learned my work ethic from my father. But I also learned a few things about work from Norm. Running your own business is hard! If it's high end tile setting business, it's harder and the work itself is some of the hardest work I ever did. And that's the other thing Norm did for me. He always was willing to give a day's pay for a day's work. I held other jobs before the Air Force, but if I needed some extra cash, I could cut his yard, rake the leaves, cut the yard of his business lot, or ever be a laborer for the Tile Man. Some of those days were brutal! And even if I got out of line (and I did one particular day), he still gave me a fair shot. Did I mention how brutal those days were? If you've never mixed floor mud (sand, concrete and water) in the summer with a hand-held hoe, and then have Norm say "Too wet; too dry, mix some more..." Shitttt, there was one time I napped at lunch time! But it was a valuable lesson, and I was always grateful.

There are many other stories when he lived on Lynn Drive. Many inside jokes to include Jack Custodian, and his nickname for me, Clint. Even now, that brings a smile to my face and I am sure some will ask about this in the future. Speaking of Lynn Drive, there was one time I thought Norm was going to pass out from laughing so hard. From what I remember, he loved loud fire-crackers, like M-80s. This one day while the Tile Man big box truck was parked out front, Norm looked at me and said, "Watch this." He snuck to the back of the truck, lit a M-80, and tossed it in the road. Then he ran around the truck to not be seen. About 5 seconds later, that sucker blew and I swear it was more like a 1/4 stick than a M-80. Some neighbors were looking around and there was Norm laughing his @$$ off! It was a good time. 

I could write more: His affinity for malted milkshakes, the casinos (Twenty Bucks!), or the fun we had at county fairs. Did you know at one time, he replicated a county fair game in his garage so he could beat it! Norm and I also shared a liking to easy read books, especially Stuart Woods "Stone Barrington" novels.

Throughout the years, while I didn't speak much with Norm (well through my sister I did), he always welcomed my family and me into his home. When the girls were younger, I knew it was more challenging since our family can get a bit loud. But he didn't seem to mind. I know many of you may think, "Well that's what family does," and that's my point. Norm was family. I mean, there are some people I know who can't stand any of their in-laws. And that's the rub, Norm was more than an in-law, he was and will always be my brother. And I am sad, because my brother is now gone. 

Aunt Betty

 

Dear Tony, Joe, Lee, Christine, Marty, Rene, Matthew and Mike,

For most of my life, I rarely have a loss for words. This is one of those times. When my mom and dad called me last night about Aunt Betty passing, I was cooking some dinner. A bit apropos when I think back since Aunt Betty always had food in one form or another! Then the tears came. Even today, when I think of her, my eyes well up. But I am still at a loss for words in regards on what to say to my cousins who just lost their mom. A loss for words to the 13 grand children who lost their GaGa. However, if there is one thing I can say to all of you, it's Thank You! As I think back at all the fond memories I have in coming to your house...and believe me, there are many, I also think back at what Aunt Betty (and Beansie) did when we came. To think of it now; it is even more incredible.

Growing up, we didn't have the grand summer vacations that we seem to enjoy these days. And back then that was OK! It started as a tease around Easter time; if we came to Scranton and Old Forge to celebrate Easter with Nana and your family. But, then, as school was winding down, there was the thought of summer and the Rybitski Family reunion! Now, the family reunions were a special time indeed. But what followed was even better! I know I waited anxiously for the invite from Aunt Betty to stay the week at 501 Mary Street and live with the Aversas! That WAS summer! Wiffle-ball outside; games of Life, Crazy-8s and Nerf basketball inside. Singing to the 45s, the "spanking" machine and much, much more. And all behind the scenes was Aunt Betty. And during this time, she was everyone's mom. I mean, the food she prepared, alone was enough to feed everyone! I could write all day on the memories of Aunt Betty. The ice chewing, the ironing, or even the calls down the stairs "Cellar," just to ensure no-one was down there before she turned the lights off. And to think, she accepted more kids into her house for that one special week each summer. 

I hadn't seen or spoken with Aunt Betty since the summer of 2018. And I never really thanked her for those special times. I hope she realized how much she meant to me and what those summers meant to me. So I am letting you know, and yes to say Thank You. Thank you for sharing your mom with the rest of us. I don't know if it impacted you or not, but it definitely did me in a positive way. So I will be forever grateful. I am so sorry for your loss of your mom. You are all in my thoughts.